(E)motion Sickness.
So I just really need to vent. Pour out everything. Word vomit.
I’m really sorry that I can’t openly express how much I miss or love you. I’m sorry that you’ve spent all that time alone, by yourself, and I didn’t call once. I’m sorry I made you feel left behind, forgotten.. I’m sorry I didn’t keep in contact all that time. I’m sorry you’ve been hurting and I was too ignorant.. or just plain too stupid to notice. No words will express the happiness I was in when you came back into my life totally unexpected after all of this time. Out of the blue. Without notice. You’ve brought back a part of my life that I was missing out on, an emptiness that had existed in my heart in the time of your absence was slowly being filled. Every tear that comes out of your eyes because of me turns into an icicle, stabbing at my heart - that’s how much it hurts to see you cry. I want to forever keep apologizing.. the amount of guilt I’m in, I can’t seem to ever get over it. There’s alot of things you could say to try to make me feel better - how it’s not my fault. I do have to admit, it is not entirely my fault. There were some things.. parts of the puzzle I never knew until now. There were some things I was too young to understand. I’m trying now so very hard to mend the broken bridges, that seemed to have been burned away.. I’ve missed you so much. I miss you right now. I’m sorry right now. I’m guilty. But I’m happy and yet grateful, happy that you’re back, and grateful that I have a chance to be able to fix everything that’s went wrong.
I love you.
